If Love could be a weird cocktail, then struggle love would be a deadly one: you just need to add insecurity, desperation, selflessness, and extreme stupidity to the mix. Struggle love is an ugly kind of love that a woman has for a man: she feels like she has to prove herself to him, by enduring everything that he throws at her, whether good or bad.

Struggle love happens when a  woman gives her entire self to a man, even though it might lead her in having 2 kids to maintain on her own. Struggle love is that simple, young and naive love where for a woman, the little things matter, even if she is actually worth more than the little things.

Being a woman is powerful, but so many women don’t get it. So many women do not
value themselves and feel like they need to accomplish everything in this world to prove that they are powerful.


Simply being a woman already makes you powerful, you just have to realise it. I have plans, I do intend to be successful, but my mission is not to prove my worth, cause I already know my worth, hence why everything I touch will be a tool for my success. Ladies… you don’t need to prove anything to a man. You are not meant to struggle, you are meant to be elevated, desired, protected, and provided for.

A man is not “your” man and does not deserve loyalty until he proves to you that you’re his woman. On paper. I don’t care what anyone says. Do not prove anything to a man until he has proved himself to you.

You know what I call women that feel the need to prove themselves to men? Pick-me:

“Pick me! I can cook!” “Pick me! I can clean!”

“Pick me! Even if you cheating on me will make me go mad, I’ll still hold you down and
fight the girl you cheated on me with” (lol)

“Pick me! Even if I’m supposed to be treated like a princess, I’ll let you treat me like a doormat because I love you!”

“Pick me! Let me show my friends that I am happy just because I have a man, even if you’re low-key trash”

“Pick me! I’ll go to the extent of spending my youth in building an empire with you,
even tho you should be able to create it by yourself. You’re the man, right?”

“Pick me! As long as you give me time and attention, I’m good”

“Pick me! I’m independent, educated, and can take care of you, as long as you stay loyal to me.” (That makes me laugh, cause in my head, the woman saying this seems like a manly looking woman).

“Pick-me! That chick is nothing like me. Come here let me show you what I can give you.”

Pick-mes. We girls have all been pick-mes. Once, twice, three times…. and then learned the lesson. But some made the mistake once and remained scarred for life. Others got old still making the same mistakes. I guess I’m one of the ones that made the mistake and quickly learned.  Blessed are the girls that never made the mistake and already knew the game.

There’s nothing attractive in being the ride or die. Guys will fake “hail” you, giving you nothing, and still low-key chase the girl who they would give the entire world for. Once you become the girl a guy would give everything to, you will never go back in being a “pick-me”.

A ‘ride or die’, aka Pick me chick is nothing but an insecure and lost woman, who would do any and everything to feel wanted and desired. She’ll go to the extent of revealing her body, throwing away her future, her dignity, fighting her fellow women just for miserable attention and an “I love you”.

Both ride or die and high-value women want the same thing; a ride or die simply decides
work hard while the High-Value Woman decides to work smart to get to the goal. Both can get to the goal but one will have been ridiculed, cheated on, heart-broken, stomped on, before getting there. While the other one will get to the goal with no obstacles because she took her time to strategise her route.

Ever heard those stories where a girl spent her years doing everything for a man, only
for him to dump her and marry another girl in less than a year? Good, the girl who spent her years is the pick-me, and the girl that got married is the ‘high-value woman’ the winner, not because she got married, but because she benefitted from the ’empire’  that the pick-me tried to build with the man. Therefore, while the pick-me woman was working on creating a “perfect man”, the high-value woman simply had to come at the right time to have the perfect man without working on him.

You must have heard of the fable of ‘The Tortoise and the Hare’: to equate it to this topic, a Pick-me is so distracted by the wrong men that she misses out on concentrating on herself, unlike the High-Value Woman that focuses on herself and her goals and, inevitably, attracts a man that is ready to add up to her.

Everybody prefers Tasha from Power over Angela… I think they’re both dumb, cause they both placed importance on a man who ended up messing with both of them. A ride or die chick rarely rides forever. She ends up dying. Sometimes she’ll go mad and kill the man she ‘loves’ and then kill herself. Sometimes it’s the other way round. I might sound like a gold-digger, or a finesse chick, or stuck up girl, you might say at this point. Lol. I think I sound like a Queen. I honestly think that’s how women should sound. It rubs men the wrong way cause those women are who they truly desire but they need to work hard to get them. Queens push men to be better in order to have them, but only the immature men will disagree. I give thanks to my background, my father, my mother, my sister and all the people around me because it is when you analyse other people’s relationships and behaviours that you understand how to behave later on. A woman gives life. If you don’t believe it, tell me if you came from a man.



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